


What's a Heart?

by Ultamania



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Mugging, Smut, doctor kairi and her creation vanitas, he also has no shame, idk what else to tag, kinda friend to lovers, kinda slow burn, more of a modern au, oh theres some blood, vanitas learns what emotions are
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-16 11:03:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15435678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultamania/pseuds/Ultamania
Summary: The darkness is slowly spreading, consuming everyone and everything. After the loss of her friends, Kairi agrees to help Ansem create an artificial human that can combat the darkness. She creates Vanitas. However, Vanitas was created with no emotions. He doesn't understand concepts like happiness, sadness, and love. Kairi was told not to give Vanitas emotions, but she decides to teach him how to feel emotions. However, in doing so, she realizes that she can't risk Vanitas' safety by sending him off to fight the darkness. Also, Vanitas starts to realize his strong desires for Kairi.





	1. Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wanna thank the Vanitas server for encouraging me to write this!

**Day 1:**

 

Kairi was making some final adjustments to the incubation chamber. Checking the vitals and making sure everything was stable and there were no inconsistencies in her settings. She glanced at the being in her chamber and smiled. The first artificial human. Kairi has spent so much time and effort into successfully creating one. She’s also failed several times, but this was the one. She was confident he would be a success.

She walked over to her desk and grabbed her cellphone. She opened the recorder and began recording her log.

“Day one of subject V-41745, aka Vanitas. I don’t know where I thought if the name, it just came to me. This is my 15th attempt at creating an artificial human. He should be able to perform normal functions like your average human, but the point of this experiment is create human weapon. Someone who can withstand more pain and perform tasks more quickly and efficiently compared to normal humans. The war with the darkness is getting dire and Vanitas here may be our only hope to stop the darkness. So, without further ado, I will release Vanitas, and here’s to hoping he doesn’t reduce to a puddle like my previous attempt.”

Kairi went over to her computer and disabled the incubation chamber and unlocked it, causing the chamber to open.

Vanitas staggered out of the chamber and looked around. He sometimes saw the doctor working around him, some days she looked horrid, like today. She hasn’t slept in quite some time.

Kairi smiled when she saw that Vanitas wasn’t a puddle on the ground and gave him and lab coat to cover him up with.

“So far so good! I’m going to test his motor skills now.” Kairi stepped back. “Okay Vanitas, can you walk over to me?”

Vanitas glanced at the doctor and with no hesitation, he walked to her.

Kairi smiled. “Flawless! Okay Vanitas, can you hold this for me?” Kairi handed Vanitas an apple.

Vanitas took the apple and held it for a bit before doing something unexpected. He spun the apple on the tips of his finger, threw it up in the air and caught it before starting to eat it.

Kairi was in shock, but she smiled brightly. “Excelled in motor skills! Okay next is vocal capacity. Can you repeat this sentence?: Hello, my name is Vanitas.”

Vanitas glanced at Kairi and bowed slightly for her. “Hello doctor. Thank you for creating me. My name is Vanitas and I will do what you ask.”

Kairi was jumping in place. She was so happy that Vanitas was excelling in all the basic tests. “Okay, one more test. What’s his carrying capacity? Vanitas, try picking things up in here.”

Vanitas nodded and went over to the incubation chamber, it was still connected to a bunch of wires, so he would have to be careful. He picked up the incubation chamber and carefully held it up before setting it back down.

Kairi clapped. “Very good! So about one ton then… That’s the heaviest thing here so we might need to try something heavier later, but that’s good enough for now. I think it’s safe to say that Vanitas here is a rounding success. End of day one.” Kairi stopped recording on her phone and turned to Vanitas, still smiling. “I have to call Ansem!”

She quickly found Ansem’s number in her phone and called it.

While Kairi was talking on the phone, Vanitas explored the doctor’s office. It was relatively small, just the incubation chamber, her desk and a lab table. He saw a mirror on the door and walked over to it and examined himself. He was well toned for someone who was just created and he was definitely taller than the doctor. His eyes were golden and his hair was jet black. He lightly touched the surface of his face and pulled his mouth open to look at his teeth which were kinda sharp and almost resembled fangs.

Kairi sighed.

Vanitas turned to her. 

“Okay, so Ansem said to just allow you to get used to yourself before we bring you in for further testing. So I guess we’ll go back to my place and… Well, we’ll see what happens from there!”

Vanitas tilted his head slightly. “What’s your name, doc?”

“Oh! Right, I completely forgot to introduce myself!” She held her hand out towards Vanitas. “My name’s Kairi!”

Vanitas glanced at Kairi’s hand and took it in his.

Kairi smiled and approached Vanitas and started to button up the lab coat. “We’ll stop by a store and get you some clothes then we’ll head back to my place and just rest. I haven’t slept for a couple days so I’m tired.” Kairi stretched. “You ready?”

Vanitas nodded. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Kairi nodded and took Vanitas’ hand and led him out of her office.

Vanitas looked around at his surroundings. The hallways were white and the lights were bright. He’s never been outside and has only really seen Kairi’s office which she kept dimly lit.

Kairi pressed her badge to a scanner to check out and she took Vanitas’ hand. “This way.”

She led Vanitas to her car and fumbled around as she tried to get her keys. She unlocked the door and opened the door for Vanitas on the passenger side. “You can sit here.” She then went over to the driver’s side and got in.

Vanitas slid into the car and followed what Kairi did. She closed the door, he closed his door. She buckled her seatbelt, he buckled his. He didn’t know why he was doing this, but if she was doing it, he needed to as well.

“Okay, here we go.” Kairi started her car and pulled out of the parking structure. While she was driving, she turned her music on.

Vanitas tilted his head slightly. “What is this?”

“Oh! This is music! Sometimes people listen to it to relax or have fun or get their minds off things.”

Vanitas nodded, but he didn’t understand. “What’s to relax, have fun, and get their minds off things?”

Kairi was slightly confused, but then she realized something. “Oh right… You don’t have emotions…”

“What are emotions?”

Kairi shook her head. “Nevermind! I’ll explain it to you later!” Kairi then parked in front of a clothing store. “Okay, I’m going to buy you some clothes. Do you have a preference?”

“What’s preference?”

“Uh… Right. I’ll just pick something out for you. Just stay here okay? Not everyone will find your attire… acceptable.”

“Is that an order?”

“Huh? No, just… stay here.” Kairi quickly got out of the car and walked inside the store. She forgot that she was required to create Vanitas with no emotions and to follow orders, because that’s what Ansem told her to do. She didn’t understand why he didn’t need to have emotions and what the harm in having them was, but she did what she was asked to do. She’ll just have to explain things to him.

Vanitas sat in the car. He looked around and watched people walk by. Some were talking on devices that looked similar to Kairi’s. Others were with other people. He looked at the handle above his knees. He took it and opened it and a compartment dropped onto his knees. It didn’t hurt him though. He saw some papers, a small notebook, and something else. He grabbed what looked like a paper with Kairi and two other people. One had silver hair while the other had brown spikey hair. They were all smiling.

He looked in the side view mirror and tried to mimic the smile he saw in the picture, but it looked nothing like the smile in the picture. This prompted some people to stare at him with weird glances, but he didn’t know why. He then noticed someone with their hands in their pockets and their hood pulled up over his head. He looked around before stepping into the store Kairi was in.

Something wasn’t right. His fight or flight senses were tingling and his flight senses were incredibly weakened so he went full on fight mode. He unbuckled the seatbelt and got out of the car.

Kairi was still trying to figure out what clothes would look good on Vanitas and what colors. He had dark hair and gold eyes, so maybe dark colors, she couldn’t picture him wearing bright clothes, but she could picture him wearing dark colors, like black, blue, and maybe even red. She picked out a bunch of different shirts. Some were short-sleeved V-necks, some were tank tops, she grabbed a few turtlenecked tank tops, and some shorts and pants for him. She also bought him some underwear and shoes. She knew all his sizes because she created him. Everything should fit.

She went up to the counter to pay for everything when another guest came in. She didn’t pay any mind to it though, but she froze the moment she saw a gun pointed at the cashier.

“Give me all the money.”

The cashier nodded and did as she was told, she opened the register and started putting the money on the counter.

The man then turned the gun on Kairi. “You too.”

Kairi slowly nodded and reached into her pocket to grab her wallet, but the door opened again and there was Vanitas.

The man turned to him. “Leave!”

Vanitas didn’t move. He just stared at the man, then at Kairi before stepping closer to them.

“Don’t move!” The man pointed his gun at him.

Vanitas kept walking.

The man then pulled the trigger, causing Kairi to flinch and duck.

Vanitas easily dodged the bullet and rushed the man, kneeing him in the stomach then yanking the gun out of his hands before knocking him out with a roundhouse kick.

The man flew into a clothes rack and was out cold.

Kairi was still crouched down, but she watched everything. Vanitas was more of a success than she had expected. However, the lab coat keeping him covered was slightly opened and he was exposed. Kairi felt her face heat up slightly, out of embarrassment for herself and Vanitas, but she knew she was definitely not as red as the cashier.

Kairi quickly got up paid the cashier, grabbed the clothes and Vanitas’ hand before walking out of the store. She opened the car door, shoved Vanitas into the passenger seat before placing the bags of clothes on Vanitas’ lap. She closed his door, quickly rushed to the driver side, got in and drove off.

She sighed.

“Are you unharmed, doc?”

“Huh? Oh, I’m fine.”

Vanitas nodded. “I had to break orders. The man was suspicious.”

“Well, I’m glad you did. Though I feel sorry for that poor cashier. I don’t think she was expecting a half naked man to save us!” Kairi giggled.

Vanitas didn’t say anything and just looked at the bags of clothes on his lap. “What is this for?”

“Oh? That’s for you. You needed clothes. You can’t always be wearing that lab coat for… obvious reasons.”

“What reasons?”

“Uh… Well… Let’s just say there are certain parts of your body that should be covered while in public.”

“What parts?”

“I’ll explain when we get home!”

After a few more minutes, Kairi parked in the small driveway of her home. “Okay, well… This is it!” She got out of the car and went over to Vanitas’ side. “Do you need help?”

Vanitas didn’t answer. Instead he go out of the car,carrying all the bags.

“Guess not!” Kairi smiled and led Vanitas to the front door. She unlocked it and stepped inside. “Well, here we are! Home sweet home!”

Vanitas stepped further inside and looked around. It smelled like her.

“Here, let me show you to your room!” Kairi took Vanitas’ hand and led him to the guest room. She opened the door. “So you can sleep and rest here. My room is just down the hall if you need anything. Let’s put your clothes and stuff away first.” Kairi dumped all the clothes out of the bag and onto the bed. “Go ahead and put an outfit on.”

Vanitas glanced at the clothes. He grabbed a tank top with a hood on it and a pair of black shorts.

“Oh, and put these on too.” Kairi opened the pack of underwear and handed him a pair.

Vanitas took it and glanced at it. How should he put this on?

Kairi noticed him thinking and smiled. “Put these on first.” She pointed to the underwear in his hands. “Then you put those shorts over them. The shirt goes over your head.”

Vanitas nodded and took the lab coat off. He put the underwear on, then the shorts. He then put the shirt on over his head, but it didn’t look right.

Kairi finished putting his clothes away when she looked back, she had to choke back a laugh. “Here, like this.” Kairi lifted Vanitas’ arms and slid them through the holes in the shirt. She fixed the shirt and smoothed it out and stepped back to look at him. He looked good, she picked the right type of clothes. “There! Understand how to put clothes on now?”

Vanitas nodded. 

“Good! Let me show you around then!” Kairi showed Vanitas where her room was, just in case of an emergency. Then she showed him the restroom and explained to him how to use it and when. He seemed to understand and as she left, he closed the door and used it. When he came out, he said he didn’t feel a pressure in the pit of his stomach anymore. Last thing was the kitchen and the living room. She showed him where the snacks and food was but that she would take care of the cooking instead. She explained the T.V. to him and how it worked, and that’s when he went back to his original question.

“What’s to have fun?” He asked.

“Oh, right, I said I would explain… Well let’s see…” Kairi thought about this for a second. “Well fun is when you just want to keep doing something cause you enjoy it and you laugh and smile and stuff… Uh…” Kairi sighed. That made no sense, not even to her. “Here, try watching some T.V. Sometimes seeing it helps you understand.”

She turned on the T.V. and Vanitas’ focus shifted from her to the T.V. “Use these arrow keys to change the channel if you want.”

Vanitas took the remote and nodded.

“I’m going to make us some dinner!” Kairi went to the kitchen.

Vanitas went back to watching T.V. He did his best to take note of what everyone was doing, saying, and how they were acting. He kinda understood things. He would take note of how people reacted to certain scenarios. He understood why his attire earlier wasn’t “acceptable” and what parts of his body people didn’t want to see in public. It was supposedly embarrassing and disgusting, even though he wasn’t too sure what that meant. He kept his eyes glued to the screen though, trying to learn as much as he could.

“I love you.” One of the people on the T.V. said.

Vanitas tilted his head and watched as a couple started to press themselves against one another, mashing their lips together and taking their clothes off. The angles didn’t reveal much, but it was supposed to be a intimate moment. What was love though? Is what these people were doing called love? He didn’t get it.

“I don’t like this movie.” Kairi said, sitting down next to Vanitas on the couch and handing him a plate of food. “Though, the book wasn’t much better either…”

Vanitas looked at the screen. “What is love?”

Kairi almost choked on her food. “Uh… Love is…” She looked down. “I’m sorry… I can’t explain it. There’s a bunch of different types of love. Love for a friend, for your family, love like the people in the movie… But it’s hard to describe. It’s just one of those feelings that you know is love when you feel it in your heart.”

“What’s a heart?”

“Well, it’s the muscle in your chest right here that keeps you alive.” Kairi pointed to Vanitas’ heart. “But it’s also something that allows you to feel all sorts of emotions, including love… Maybe if you watch movies or read some books, you’ll understand! But it’s just something you have to experience on your own…”

Vanitas set the food down on the table in front of him and looked at Kairi. “I think I understand.”

“You do?”

Vanitas nodded. He leaned in close to Kairi. “I need to learn all these things, about a heart.” He then pressed his ear to Kairi’s chest. He could hear the fast thumping of her heart.

Kairi felt her fact grow hot as Vanitas drew closer to her then pressed his ear to her chest. She could feel her heart beat faster. She quickly shoved him away and tried to compose herself. “First, I need to teach you about personal space.”

Kairi spent the rest of the day telling Vanitas about personal space, how unless he was really close to someone, he shouldn’t get too physically close to someone. She then gave him a book to read and he slowly started to understand a bit more.

After a while, Kairi went to bed while Vanitas stood up, reading this book he started. When he finished, he went to the room Kairi said he could use and laid down. He started to think. He wanted to understand more about his heart as well as others. He wanted to understand emotions as well. He would have to test things out that he either saw on T.V. or read in the books and note people’s reactions so he can understand things. He wanted to try this stuff on Kairi though. According to everything he saw and read, it would be bad to do this with a stranger. However, Kairi wasn’t a stranger, was she a friend? Vanitas turned to his side and closed his eyes. He wanted to know more.


	2. Day 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vani is too smart for me...

**Day 3:**

“So it’s been three days since Vanitas first stepped into the world and I’m surprised at how well he’s transitioning into  the world. He’s been watching a lot of T.V. and reading a lot of my books. He’s read at least half the bookcase already! He seems very adamant on learning what emotions are and what a heart is. He seems to understand more things now compared to day one. I know Ansem told me that we’re not allowed to have our creations feel emotions, but what’s the harm in having them? I feel like having Vanitas learn emotions could actually make him stronger.”

Vanitas was sitting in the living room on the couch. His knees were pulled up to his chest as he watched a very intriguing movie. It was an action movie and for the first time, Vanitas felt excited. It was an interesting feeling. His heart raced and his eyes focused on the movie, wondering what was going to happen next.

The hero of this movie was trying to save his wife and daughter. He was fighting a bunch of people, jumping over a bunch of obstacles, and there was a lot of explosions which Vanitas found cool.

During a commercial, Vanitas glanced towards the hallway. He knew Kairi wasn’t sleeping, she was recording for her log again. She’s been doing that everyday, keeping records of her thoughts on Vanitas’ progress.

His stomach growled and Vanitas was hoping she would finish soon. He wanted to eat. Then he glanced back at the T.V. Maybe he should learn how to cook so he wouldn’t have to wait for Kairi. His focus shifted back to the movie when it came back on. It should be almost done, Vanitas could feel it. The hero was getting closer to finding his wife and daughter.

After a few more minutes, Kairi finished her log entry for the day and left her room and went to the living room where Vanitas had his eyes glued to the T.V. 

She smiled. “Good morning, Vanitas.”

Vanitas glanced at Kairi quickly before glancing back at the T.V. “Morning, doc.”

“Watching another movie?” Kairi asked as she walked into the kitchen, preparing to cook breakfast.

“Yeah! This movie is cool! It has me excited!”

“Oh, so now you know what excitement feels like? That’s good.” Kairi was getting ingredients out and tied her hair back into a small ponytail before starting to cook.

The movie was at the end now. Vanitas almost didn’t want it to end… He remembered Kairi trying to explain fun to him and he realized that he was having fun watching the movie, and the feeling of not wanting it end. He also felt what must have been sadness when he realized it was going to end.

The scene of the movie changed and it was the hero and his wife and daughter. They were holding each other in what Vanitas remembered Kairi telling him was a hug.

“I love you.” The wife said before kissing her hero husband.

It was those words again. I love you… What did that mean? Why were they so special? What was the feeling associated with it? He reflected upon the movie. Was love going to extreme lengths to save someone? The hero did almost the impossible for a normal human to do, just to save his wife and kid. Was that an action of love? Must be. Another action of love must be the intimacy he saw in that movie the first day he was here. But what did it felt like? He could understand what people would do while in love, but how did it feel? How do you know when you’re in love?

He glanced back at Kairi. Was she in love? It was just the two of them here and she didn’t tell him anything about having someone she loved. So did that mean she didn’t yet?

Vanitas got up and walked over to Kairi who was cooking breakfast. He wanted to learn how to cook, so he watched her every move carefully and closely.

Kairi could feel Vanitas standing behind her, a little too close for comfort. Her heart started to beat faster as she felt him peek over one shoulder, then the other one. He was taller than her so he didn’t really have to peek over her shoulders much. But sometimes he would lean in a little too close to watch Kairi do something.

She finally turned and blushed lightly at how close he was to her. “Why are you watching me like this?”

“I’m trying to learn.”

“Learn? You want to learn how to cook?”

Vanitas nodded. 

Kairi smiled. “All you had to do was ask! I can teach you! Though I’m not very good… I do have cookbooks though with a bunch of different stuff to make.”

“Well, what are you making now?”

“I’m making omelettes.”

“Okay, then teach me how to make them.”

Kairi nodded. “Okay, okay. First, wash your hands!”

“Why?”

“Sanitary reasons!”

“Sanitary? You mean like cleanliness stuff, right?”

Kairi nodded. “Yep! You want to always wash your hands before handling food and after!”

Vanitas nodded, taking note of that and went to wash his in the sink before drying them off and joining Kairi agan. “Okay, now what?”

“We crack the eggs.”

“Crack?”

Kairi nodded. “You gotta be careful not to get shells in them, cause no one likes crunchy eggs!”

“Have you tried them?” Vanitas asked.

“No…?”

“Then how do you know they’re bad? I can probably eat them just fine.” Vanitas protested.

Kairi sighed. “Just don’t get shells in the eggs.”

“Okay.”

“So you crack them like this.” Kairi tapped the egg against the edge of the pan and pulled the egg apart, spilling the egg into the frying pan with a sizzle. “Now you try.”

Vanitas nodded. He mimicked the same movement as her and cracked the egg, but some of it spilled onto the stove. Did he fail?

Kairi laughed. “It’s okay, put the rest into the pan.”

Vanitas poured what was left of his egg into the pan and it sizzled. 

Kairi smiled. “There we go! Now we grab some of this cheese here and put it on the egg.”

Vanitas took some cheese and tossed it onto the cooking eggs.

“Perfect! Now we fold it like this.” Kairi folded the egg in half, creating a kinda misshapen omelette. “Ta-da! All done!” Kairi plated the omelette. “Here, you can have the one I made.” Kairi handed the one she made to Vanitas. “I’ll eat the one you made.”

Vanitas compared the two omelettes. The one he made looked worse compared to Kairi’s. Why was she eating it though? He glanced up at Kairi who smiled in response.

Kairi went over to the kitchen table and sat down. Vanitas followed after her and sat down at the table. He was very hungry so he wasted no time eating his food. He glanced up at Kairi and saw she was eating too.

“Is it bad?” Vanitas asked.

“Hm?”

“My omelette.”

“Oh, no! It’s perfect!”

“But it looks miserable compared to yours.”

“Yeah, but that’s not what matters. How it tastes is more important! And it tastes good!”

Vanitas nodded. He wished he gave her a more appealing looking omelette. She at least deserved that much. He’ll just have to practice some more. He’ll make it a point to get up early so he could be the one making breakfast until he got better.

Halfway through their meal, the phone rang. Kairi got up and went to the other room.

Vanitas finished his omelette and went to wash his dish. He then went over to the bookshelf and grabbed a cookbook. He sat on the couch and looked it over. He didn’t really understand what a lot of it meant, but he was going to figure it out.

Kairi eventually came back and she rushed over to Vanitas and stood before him. “Guess what?”

“What?”

“Ansem says tomorrow we can start monitoring your fighting capabilities as well as start refining your strength!”

Vanitas tilted his head. “That’s… good?”

Kairi nodded. “Very good!”

Vanitas looked down at the cookbook before closing it and looking back at Kairi. “So, why was I created in the first place?”

Kairi’s eyes widened at the sudden question. She never did tell him. She sat down next to him. “There’s a darkness spreading. We’ve been able to fight it off for this long, but it’s getting stronger… More and more people are losing their lives to it… I even-” Kairi stopped and looked down, trying to fight back tears.

Vanitas noticed and recognized it as sadness. Kairi was sad. Why was she sad though? As much as Vanitas wanted to know, he learned that sometimes people will tell you on their own when they’re ready.

Kairi shook her head. “Ansem came up with a plan to create a weapon to combat the darkness, a human weapon. Humans are the only things that can harm the darkness. Normal weapons don’t work.”

“So that’s why I’m here?”

Kairi nodded. “Yep! To fight the darkness.”

Vanitas looked down and nodded. He understood what he needed to do. This darkness made Kairi sad and he didn’t want her to be sad. He glanced up at her and hugged her. He knew this was a common way to cheer someone up from sadness, so he tried it to see if it would work.

Kairi was kind of taken by surprise by the hug, but she didn’t mind it. It felt nice. She smiled and hugged Vanitas back.

“Are you still sad?” Vanitas asked.

Kairi shook her head. “No, not anymore, thank you.”

Vanitas let go of Kairi after that.

Kairi smiled at Vanitas. “So, what did you want to do today?”

Vanitas shrugged. “It’s not my place to say. It’s up to you.”

Kairi frowned. “You can speak your mind too you know?” Then she stretched. 

Vanitas looked down. Was that an order? If so, then he’ll do it. He raised the cookbook he was looking at and held it before Kairi. “Teach me how to read this.”

Kairi looked at the cookbook. “You want me to teach you how to read a cookbook?”

Vanitas nodded.

Kairi smiled. “Okay!” 

She sat next to Vanitas on the couch. As Vanitas opened the book, she explained to him what all the words and symbols meant and what all the measurements were. She even grabbed measuring cups and spoons to show him which one was what amount.

Vanitas understood and just worked on memorizing the recipes in the cookbook. After reading about the third cookbook, Kairi’s head rested on his shoulder as she fell asleep. He set the cookbook down and carefully picked Kairi up in his arms and carried her to her room. He gently set her down and pulled the covers over her. As he was walking out of her room, he heard her mumble the words “Sora” and “Riku” in her sleep. He glanced back at her, before closing the door and walking back to the living room.

Vanitas never heard the words Sora or Riku before, but they also sounded like names. Were they Kairi’s friends? Then he remembered the picture he found in Kairi’s car on the first day. The two boys, one with Silver hair and one with Brown spikey hair. Was that Sora and Riku?

He grabbed the cookbook and went over to his room and laid down on his back as he read the cookbook. Maybe he should try cooking one of these recipes for Kairi in the morning.


	3. Day 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back.

**Day 4:**

Kairi woke up the next morning smelling something really good cooking. She remembered that she was teaching Vanitas how to read a cookbook before she fell asleep. She got up and noticed that she was still in her clothes. So she grabbed another set of clothes and went to the restroom to get ready.

Vanitas heard Kairi wake up and go into the bathroom. He timed everything perfectly. The food was just about ready, so by the time Kairi was finished in the restroom, everything would be ready. As Vanitas placed food onto plates and set them on the table for himself and Kairi, his heart beat really fast and he felt this sinking feeling in his stomach. He then realized that this was worry, anxiety, nervousness, and a slight feeling of fear. This was his first time cooking and he really hoped Kairi would enjoy it. He was worried that he messed up somewhere, nervous that it didn’t taste good, despite him taste testing it, and was just overall anxious about this. He feared she wouldn’t like it and would hate it. He really hoped that wasn’t the case.

He heard Kairi finish up in the restroom and surely enough, she came out in a different set of clothes, hair slightly damp from her shower.

“Good morning!” She smiled.

“Morning, doc. I made breakfast this time.”

Kairi was in awe at the food Vanitas cooked. It all looked really good and it looked entirely out of her skill level. “You didn’t have to-”

“But I wanted to.” Vanitas said, pulling Kairi’s chair out.

Kairi smiled gently, sitting down in the chair.

Vanitas went and took his seat and waited for Kairi to start eating before he did.

Kairi didn’t waste too much time. The food smelled really good and it looked amazing. She took a bite of the waffles and noticed there was bits of bacon in it. Then she ate this side that had sausage, egg, and other things in it. She didn’t know what this was called, but it tasted amazing.

“This is really good!” Kairi smiled.

“Really?”

Kairi nodded. “This is great! Maybe you can teach me a thing or two?”

“Sure, if you want me to.”

Kairi smiled.

The two of them ate all their food and they both washed the dishes together before heading out and making their way back to the lab. Ansem wanted to start running more tests on Vanitas, as well as prepare him for his fight. 

While she was driving, Kairi started to think. She was really enjoying Vanitas’ company, and she was beginning to grow fond of him. It was nice having him around the house and he was developing his own personality and feelings. She knew what needed to be done, but she was beginning to wonder if Vanitas would be okay? Would he come back to her, or would he disappear like Sora and Riku?

“Doc?”

Kairi snapped back into reality. “What?”

“Light’s green.”

“Oh… Sorry…” Kairi started driving again.

Vanitas noticed Kairi was deep in thought and wondered why. Something was on her mind, something was bugging her, he could tell by her posture and facial features. He wanted to ask, but he didn’t want to pry either. She would tell him eventually, right?

They arrived at the lab and Kairi grabbed her lab coat from the back seat and put in on while they were walking into the lab. She scanned her badge and they walked in.

Vanitas didn’t like this place. It was too bright and felt cold. He prefered Kairi’s place much more because it looked nicer and felt warmer.

They came to the testing room and as they walked in, Ansem was there with a few other researchers.

“Doctor Ansem!” Kairi greeted, walking over to him.

“Ah, Kairi, you’re here. Wonderful! I take it this is it?” Ansem asked, looking at Vanitas.

“Yes! This is Vanitas!”

Ansem nodded. He then glanced at the other researchers and nodded.

The other researchers made their way to Vanitas and urged him through a door, the last thing he saw was Kairi’s smile before being placed in a small square room. They sat him in a chair and attached a bunch of wires to him.

Kairi was in the other room, watching Vanitas from a one way mirror. She was nervous, but she was also confident in Vanitas, she knew he would be fine.

“What kind of tests are we doing today?” Kairi asked.

“IQ testing mostly. Mental capacities. See how well he can adapt to quickly changing scenarios.”

Kairi nodded. “He’s been reading a lot of books and watching T.V. He’s trying to understand emotions people experience as well as.”

“So facial recognition and body language. Very good. Though I would be very careful about teaching him emotions. He may create some for himself.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask, why did you ask me to omit emotions when creating him?”

Ansem stared at Vanitas. “Emotions are irrational and problematic. They can cause unexpected behavior. We need him to perform his functions perfectly or else we’ll fail.”

Kairi looked down. She understood what he said, but she still wanted to teach Vanitas emotions. Ansem was a man of science, of course he would think of things logically. Kairi knew that emotions weren’t something that made someone weak.

“Begin the testing.” Ansem announced.

They made Vanitas perform various tests. The first was a written exam, which he passed with flying colors. The second was an oral exam, which he passed as well. They also tested his mental reactions by asking him what he would do in hypothetical scenarios. He passed that test as well. If they were trying to challenge him, they should put more effort in these tests.

After a few hours, he was brought back to the same room as Kairi.

“Very impressive, Kairi. He’s proving to be a very capable weapon.”

Kairi nodded, smiling weakly.

“Bring him back tomorrow so we can test more of his physical capabilities.”

“Okay.” Kairi took Vanitas’s hand and led him out of the laboratory again. They got in her car and began to drove off.

Kairi exhaled.

“Everything okay, doc?”

“Huh? Oh yeah! Things went better than I expected!”

Vanitas looked out the window. “It was too easy.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. If they really wanted to test my abilities, they should have given me harder tests.”

Kairi giggled.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing! It’s just… You’re really something else, you know?”

“What’s that supposed to mean, doc?”

“You’ll see!”

Vanitas arched an eyebrow before looking out the window.

They finally made it back to Kairi’s home and Vanitas decided to cook dinner. So while he cooked, Kairi went into her room to record her log.

“Day four and the day Ansem brought Vanitas in for official testing. Ansem was very impressed with Vanitas. He excelled at all the mental and cognition tests. Vanitas even told me they were too easy! Also, Ansem told me the reason why he didn’t have me include emotions when creating Vanitas. He said they get in the way of reason and make people reckless. I don’t think that’s true though… Emotions are a powerful tool that can make anyone stronger. I know it made them stronger…” Kairi looked down. “I think Vanitas would benefit from having emotions. I’ll keep having him figure things out, without letting Ansem know.”

There was a knock at her door. “Doc? Dinner’s ready!” Vanitas called out.

“I’ll be right there!”

Vanitas nodded and went to the table.

Kairi sighed. “But I also worry… I really like Vanitas, he’s becoming a unique individual and… I don’t want to see him getting hurt… The last thing I want is to lose another friend.” Kairi stopped the recording, before looking at the picture on her dresser. It was of her, Sora, and Riku as kids. She stood up and held the picture in her slightly shaky hands.

“Sora… Riku… I wish you were here…”

Vanitas was waiting at the table for Kairi and he wondered if she was okay. He was about to go check on her when she walked out of the hallway and towards him.

“Everything looks so good!” Kairi smiled weakly before sitting down.

Something was off, Vanitas could tell. He would wait until after they ate though.

Vanitas was especially hungry today, the last thing he ate was breakfast and that was over 5 hours ago. He scarfed down his food and when he finished, he looked up at Kairi.

She was eating, was about halfway done, but it still looked like her mind was on other things.

“Something wrong, doc?” Vanitas asked.

“No… I’m fine.”

“You’re lying.”

“No I’m not!”

“Yes you are!”

“I’m fine Vanitas!”

“You can’t lie to me! I can tell something’s wrong!”

Kairi sighed. “I’m fine…”

Vanitas felt annoyed. “Who’s Sora and Riku?”

Kairi tensed. He nailed it.

“How did you-”

“You were mumbling in your sleep last night. I heard the names Sora and Riku. Who are they?”

Kairi looked down. She then got up suddenly and went to her room.

Vanitas sighed. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought it up. He knew that prying was bad, it often led to drama on T.V. Maybe he should have just left it alone.

However, Kairi came back and she was holding a picture frame. She handed it to Vanitas. “That’s Riku.” She pointed to the boy with Silver hair. “And that’s Sora.” She then pointed to the boy with brown spikey hair.

Vanitas recognized these boys from the picture in the car. In this one, they were all much younger, even Kairi.

“They were my best friends.”

“Were?”

Kairi looked away. “They went to fight the darkness… They never came back…”

Vanitas looked down at the picture. They looked like your average kids. It was hard to believe they went to fight the darkness, but they must have been strong people, but even they lost.

“I’m sorry, doc…”

Kairi shook her head. “It’s okay. They told me… before they left, that after they came back, and everything was over, we would go to the beach again… You can figure out what happened with that…”

Vanitas looked at the picture again. He then thought about the picture in the car. Sora, looked a lot like him, but he also resembled Riku in some ways in terms of physique. Did Kairi create him to look like her best friends?

His heart ached, but he didn’t know why. He felt sad when he thought that he was just a look alike of Kairi’s friends.

“We used to love going to the beach together. We would get ice cream and watch the sunset… I tried going, to honor them… But I just can’t.” Kairi started to cry.

Vanitas looked up at Kairi. He set the picture down and pulled her into a hug. He could feel Kairi stuff her face in the crook of Vanitas’ neck and he could feel his clothes grow wet from Kairi’s tears. This was still relatively new for him and he didn’t know how to make her feel better. So he just rubbed her back and held her close.

“I’m scared, Vani… I don’t want to lose anyone anymore… I don’t want to lose you too.”

Vanitas was kinda of taken back by this new nickname Kairi gave him, but he didn’t really mind it either.

“But isn’t that why you created me? So I can fight the darkness?”

Kairi nodded, pulling away from Vanitas and looking up at him. “Yeah, but what if something happens? I couldn’t bear to lose you too!”

Vanitas smiled gently. “I promise, I’ll get stronger so I’ll come back, okay?”

Kairi’s eyes widened. This was the first time she’s seen Vanitas smile, he’s tried to smile before, but they were always funny looking, this was the first genuine smile Kairi has seen from Vanitas, and she felt her heart stop. She then smiled in return. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

Kairi nodded. “Okay. You better not break it!”

“Oh, I wouldn’t count on it, doc.”

“Also, you don’t have to call me doc all the time. You can call me by my name!”

Vanitas looked down. He could use her name, but she gave him a nickname, so he’ll give her one too. “Kai.”

“What?”

“You gave me a nickname, called me Vani. So I’m going to call you Kai.”

Kairi felt her face grow hot, but she smiled. “Okay! Then help me with these dishes, Vani!”

Vanitas nodded and they both worked on the dishes together before sitting down and watching T.V. Kairi fell asleep on his shoulder again so he carried her to her room and laid her down in her bed and tucked her in before closing the door behind him.

He went back to the living room and turned the T.V. off before noticing the picture on the table. He went over to it and grabbed it, looking at it. Was it truly okay for him to be here? Who was he exactly? Was he a weapon? A friend? Or a replacement? He placed the picture in the bookshelf before going off to bed.


	4. Day 16

**Day 16:**

For the past couple of weeks, Kairi has been taking Vanitas to his daily tests and exams conducted by Ansem. They had him do various things, more mental testing, physical testing, as well as psychological testing. They didn’t want him to become consumed by the darkness so they had to mentally prepare him to face off against the darkness.

Lately he’s been training to fight. They gave him a weapon and he was practicing with it a lot. He felt really comfortable with it. Of course there was still a lot more he needed to learn, but he was definitely on his way to becoming an unstoppable force.

However, despite all the training and tests, he was still thinking about who he was. He knew himself as Vanitas, everyone saw him as a weapon, a tool. The only one who didn’t was Kairi, but what was he to Kairi? Was he a replacement? Or did she see him as an actual person? He was beginning to grow frustrated with everything and his own thoughts. He wanted to be seen for who he was, not what was expected of him. He wasn’t just a tool, nor was he a replacement. He was his own person, right?

Kairi was taking Vanitas back to the lab for more training. He has been very quiet lately. He wasn’t giving her the silent treatment, and would always respond to her and make some small talk during breakfast and dinner, but Kairi could tell that his mind was on other things. Whenever she asked about it though, he would avoid answering. Kairi wanted to keep pushing, but she didn’t want him to get upset either.

He was doing very well with emotions though. He was saying things like he was happy, annoyed, or worried, but he still was trying to figure out love. Kairi really wished there was a way she could help him out more, but there wasn’t much she could do without making it too confusing for him.

They made it to the lab and they walked inside. They made it to the training room to meet up with Ansem and his group of researchers.

“Good morning, Doctor Ansem.” Kairi greeted.

Ansem turned to her. “Good morning.” He then turned to Vanitas. “Today we are going to be doing something a little different.”

Kairi tilted her head. “Different?”

The doors opened behind them and in stepped a man with long silver hair, his bangs pulled back and out of his face. He had golden eyes and tan skin.

Kairi grimaced when she saw the man. “Doctor Xehanort, it’s good to see you again.”

Xehanort smiled. “I take it this is the creation Ansem has been telling me all about.” He gave Vanitas a once over. “I sense our plight may finally be over with this one.”

Vanitas noticed Kairi grimace when Xehanort came in. So, he was wary of this man.

“Doctor Xehanort here will be conducting Vanitas’ training from here on out.” Ansem said. “He’s much more equipped to test his skills than I am.”

Xehanort nodded. “Shall we be going, boy?”

Vanitas glanced at Xehanort, then at Kairi, then back to Xehanort before nodding. He followed Xehanort.

Kairi did as well, but Xehanort stopped. “You aren’t needed, Kairi. I need to test his capabilities on my own.”

“What? But I created him. I need to be there to monitor his progress!”

“Don’t worry, I will send progress reports to Ansem and he can give them to you.” Xehanort approached Kairi and attempted to place a hand on her.

Vanitas’ instincts flared up and he stepped in front of Kairi and grabbed Xehanort’s wrist, preventing him from touching Kairi. He glared at him.

Xehanort smiled and pulled his hand away. “I will wait for you outside.” Xehanort stepped outside of the room.

Kairi sighed.

Vanitas turned to her. “Do you not want me to go with him?” He asked her softly enough so only she could hear, but no one else.

Kairi nodded. “I don’t trust him… He’s been working with the darkness and…” Kairi shrugged. “He likes to put thoughts into your head and it makes you… I don’t know.”

“I won’t go with him if you don’t want me to.”

Kairi shook her head. “We don’t have that choice sadly. Just... Try not to believe everything he tells you, okay?”

Vanitas nodded.

“I’ll be in my office, so whenever you’re done, just come get me.”

Vanitas nodded again. “Alright.” He then turned and left Kairi behind in the room and joined up with Xehanort who was leaning against the wall.

“Ready? Good, let us make way.” Xehanort led Vanitas down the hall. “So, you seem quite fond of Kairi.”

“Well, she did create me.” Vanitas said simply.

“Of course! She’s the person who gave you life! Anyone would be protective of that. However, you do seem more like an individual compared to other weapons I’ve seen.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Tell me, is Kairi showing you what emotions are?”

Vanitas didn’t know how to respond to the question. He wasn’t supposed to be learning emotions, they were seen as problematic. He didn’t want to throw Kairi under the bus either. So he didn’t answer.

“I won’t tell Ansem. There are things that I like to keep to myself.” They finally made it to Xehanort’s lab and walked inside a very dark room.

It took a bit for Vanitas’ eyes to adjust but then he saw various chambers and cages that were covered. He could hear breathing, rattling and scratching noises from within the cages. The chambers bubbled and inside them were strange creatures Vanitas has never seen before.

“What is all this stuff?” Vanitas asked.

“These are my creations. Much like you are to Kairi, these are mine.”

“Okay, but WHAT are they?”

“Spawns of the darkness.”

Vanitas felt his blood run cold. “What?”

“Not actual spawns, but very similar. I’ve been creating them in secret to better understand the darkness and how it works. It’s quite fascinating really.”

Vanitas peeked into a cage and saw a strange creature twitch and quickly backed away.

“I discovered that we don’t really have anything to fear. We need the darkness in order to survive. Destroying it would just destroy ourselves.”

“Okay…” Vanitas said warily. “So what are you telling me?”

“We’re not going to defeat it, we’re going to control it. I need your help in doing so.”

Vanitas turned to Xehanort. “Control it? Can it even be controlled?”

“That’s what I have been working on. However, my spawns have grown quite powerful, so I need you to contain them. I also want to teach you how to control them as well. If you can use them to your advantage, maybe we can defeat the darkness without destroying in entirely.”

Vanitas looked down. Kairi told him that he shouldn’t trust everything he says. But he was curious as well, what was his goal? He wanted to play along, just to find out, but he would always be vigilant.

“Okay, I get you, but why? Why so worked up about controlling the darkness?”

Xehanort smiled. “You will discover those reasons in due time.”

Vanitas arched an eyebrow. “I don’t know…”

“Tell me, has Kairi told you about Sora and Riku?”

Vanitas tensed. He knew about them? “Yeah, what about it?”

“You know what you look like, and what they look like, correct?”

“What are you getting at?”

“Kairi lost those two to the darkness, she’s been obsessed with stopping it in hopes of getting her friends back. In the meantime though, she made you to look like her friends. She couldn’t deal with the loss, so she made you to fill the void, to replace them.”

Vanitas’ heart sank. His worst fear was just slapped across his face. Kairi only created him as a replacement, that’s all he was to her. He didn’t know why this bugged him as much as it did, but it did. He knew he was just a tool, just a creation, but why did hearing this bug him so much? He wanted Kairi to recognize him for who he was, not for what others expected him to be. He wanted her to see him, not see someone else. Why did Vanitas want this though, what did it mean?

“I know you care for her, but she’s just using you. I want to help you grow stronger, to become everything you want to be and more. You can use the darkness for yourself rather than let it consume you.”

Vanitas looked down.

“So, do we have a deal?”

Vanitas glanced at Xehanort and nodded. “Alright.” All he wanted, was for Kairi to see him as Vanitas. Not Sora, and not Riku. 

Xehanort smiled. “Let’s get started.”

-

Vanitas stepped out of Xehanort’s lab feeling very drained. He was complaining about the training and tests being too easy, but now the difficulty was amped up. He couldn’t complain though, he asked for this. He found himself wanting to control the darkness more and more to show Kairi that he was different from her friends and he wasn’t just a tool to be used.

He walked down the halls to Kairi’s office and slowly opened the door to see her hunched over her desk, sleeping. He checked the clock and noticed that it was almost midnight. He didn’t realize how long he was with Xehanort for.

Vanitas felt slightly guilty for making Kairi wait this long. Next time he’ll tell her to head home without him. He went over to her and lightly nudged her. “Hey, Kai?”

Kairi groaned slightly, before jolting up.

Vanitas was slightly startled and stepped back.

“Oh, Vani… It’s you. Sorry.” Kairi smiled. “Are you done for today?”

Vanitas nodded. “Yeah… Sorry for making you wait. You should have just gone home without me.”

Kairi shook her head. “It’s fine! I don’t mind!” Kairi then looked down. “Xehanort didn’t say anything weird to you, did he?”

“Nothing too particularly concerning.” Vanitas lied.

Kairi smiled. “That’s good!” She yawned. “Let’s go home!”

Vanitas nodded and the two of them left the lab and got into Kairi’s car before driving off. The streets were quiet and empty. Vanitas just looked out the window for most of the car ride, still thinking about what Xehanort said to him earlier. He would occasionally glance at Kairi. She was way too nice to ever use anybody like a tool, but Xehanort said she was pretty much broken when she lost Sora and Riku, did that possibly change her? Did Vanitas not know her as well as he thought he did?

Kairi noticed Vanitas glancing at her a lot and staring. When she came to a stop sign, she glanced at him and smiled.

Vanitas blushed lightly and turned away. Why did he react like that though? Kairi always smiled at him, but this time his heart raced. Or, did it always do that when she smiled? He tried to reflect back on it, but it was hard to remember. Maybe he always reacted like this and never realized it, but why? 

Vanitas looked down. Kairi was important to him. Yeah she may have created him, but Vanitas saw Kairi as something more than just his creator. He saw her as a friend. Someone very close to him. He wanted to see her smile, hear her laugh. He hated when she was sad and didn’t like it when she cried. He just wanted to make her happy. He always did, but why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm almost done????


	5. Day 55

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the smut

**Day 55:**

“Day 55. It’s been a while since I last recorded a log, I think the last one was day 30? Around there I think… But Vanitas has basically assimilated into average life now. He doesn’t have as many questions about emotions anymore and understands them quite well. He actually can identify what he’s feel accurately. However, he still hasn’t figured out love just yet. It’s kind of hard though, he’s not allowed to have a social life and every day he’s been working with Xehanort…” Kairi looked down. “Actually… After he’s started training with Xehanort, I noticed that he’s changed. He seems more distant, more cold. He still cooks and cleans, and asks how I am, but I feel like he’s been very distant of me… I’ve been so anxious trying to figure out what I did wrong. I even asked him about it, and he insists I did nothing wrong, but I feel like I did.” Kairi sighed. “It just hurts, I’ve grown very attached to him and for him to push me away suddenly, makes me feel like I’m hated, like I’m losing him… It makes me wonder what Sora and Riku would say, what advice they would give me? He is his own person, with his own feelings and thoughts now… I just need to figure out how to approach him about this without angering him…” Kairi ended her recording.

She got up from her desk and walked over to her closet before looking at herself in the mirror. She looked exhausted. Vanitas has been staying late with Xehanort so she’s been leaving and heading home before him, but because of how he’s been acting recently, she wasn’t eating too much. She was so anxious, she didn’t feel too hungry anymore. That last time she got like this was when she lost Sora and Riku.

She finally got dressed before heading out of her room.

Vanitas was sitting at the table, eating breakfast and he glanced up at Kairi as she walked in. He’s been noticing how more tired and paler she’s been getting and was worried that she was ill. She hasn’t been eating much, so Vanitas was making less food.

“Morning…” Kairi said before sitting.

“Morning.” Vanitas watched as Kairi sat down and poured herself some coffee and started to drink it. She didn’t bother touching her food. “Are you feeling okay, Kai?”

Kairi nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine! Just not too hungry.” She smiled.

Vanitas could easily tell that smile was fake. “Well, try eating a little, okay?”

Kairi nodded and started to eat a little bit of food. It was nice to know that Vanitas cared still, but the air between them still felt cold. He felt like he was far away from her, like she was losing him. Was this because of Xehanort? Vanitas said it wasn’t, and nothing was wrong, but Kairi could feel it. He was slipping from her and she was feeling incredibly lonely. Without even realizing it, Kairi began to cry.

Vanitas froze when he saw tears fall down Kairi’s face. What happened? Is she hurt? Sick? Vanitas started to panic. He quickly got up and went over to her. “Kai, you okay? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Kairi shrugged. “I don’t know… I just-” Should she ask? Vanitas was probably dealing with his own issues right now and she didn’t want to add more to his plate, but she just wanted someone to talk to. “Nevermind…”

Vanitas went to wipe her tears, but stopped. He shouldn’t… No, more like he couldn’t. Xehanort has been telling him not to get too attached to Kairi, not because his feelings for her would get in the way, but more for her sake. Xehanort said that by being too close to her would put her at risk for the darkness to take her. Since he’s been working on controlling the darkness, Xehanort said that Kairi’s pure heart would make him lose control, so he needed to maintain a distance from her so he wouldn’t risk hurting her.

Vanitas pulled his hand away and looked down before looking at the time. “We should probably get going…”

Kairi didn’t look at Vanitas. “I think I’m going to stay here today… I need some rest.”

Vanitas nodded. “Alright. I’ll be back later then.” Vanitas went towards the front door, but stopped. He looked back at Kairi who still had tears in her eyes. She was picking up the dishes and taking them to the sink.

Maybe he should ask Xehanort, maybe he’ll be able to explain things.

-

After the first five hours of working with Xehanort, Vanitas was given a break. He was able to spawn minions of the darkness much easier now, but he was so worried about Kairi that he was losing control very quickly, so Xehanort gave him a break to rest his nerves.

“Hey, doc?” Vanitas asked.

“Yes, my boy?”

“Sorry for not being on top of my game today, but… I’ve been worried about Kairi.”

“I had a feeling. Please tell.”

“I’ve been doing what you asked, keeping my distance so the darkness wouldn’t harm her, but she’s been very depressed. She hasn’t been eating, sleeping, she started crying this morning. She didn’t tell me why, but I feel like this is hurting her more than helping her…”

“Well of course it is, she’s grown attached to you. You’re her precious creation after all. You confided to her a lot in your earlier days, but now she’s understanding that you can’t rely on her forever. She’s starting to feel a loss of control.”

“Is that so…”

“Tell me Vanitas, when you see Kairi sad, happy, or see her in general, how do you feel?”

“How do I feel?” Vanitas was deep in thought. “Happy, I guess? I hate it when she cries. She’s the type of person that deserves everything and anything. She deserves friends, family, happiness, love, all that. I want her to be happy…”

Xehanort nodded. “You’ve been wondering what love is this whole time, but in reality, you are very much in love with her.”

“What?” Vanitas stopped. He thought about everything he knew about love. He was willing to risk life and limb for Kairi. Wanted nothing more than her happiness. He enjoyed her smiles and her laughs. He wanted to keep her close to him and just enjoy her. This was love. He was in love with Kairi.

“You do know that she could never love you, right?”

Vanitas nodded. He was right. Vanitas was a tool, a weapon. He wasn’t a real human, if anything he was just a replacement. Kairi could never love someone like him. Now that he was working with the darkness and using it, Kairi was far out of his league now. It would be impossible for them.

“So this is why I asked you to keep your distance. To keep your heart at bay. If you grow too attached to each other, the darkness would consume Kairi. You have to keep her safe.”

“I know…”

“Are you feeling better now getting that off your chest?”

Vanitas nodded.

“Then let’s get back to work.”

Vanitas stood up. He needed to get stronger as quickly as possible, so that way he can stop the darkness and keep Kairi safe. Maybe when everything was over, things can go back to normal. He wouldn’t have to keep Kairi away, they can be close again. Maybe Kairi would never love Vanitas like he loved her, but he didn’t care. He just wanted her to be happy, and if her happiness didn’t come from him, then that’s just how things were going to be.

However, there was still something bugging Vanitas and he would just have to ask Kairi himself. He needed to know for sure, if he could get his heart and mind off this issue, then maybe his training would go by more quickly.

-

Vanitas finished training late as usual. He got out of the lab by midnight and when he stepped outside, it was raining. He sighed and pulled his hood over his head before making his way back home.

The rain felt nice on his skin, especially since he was worn out from the training. His body was slightly sore, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle.

He finally made it home and noticed the T.V. flickering in the window. Was Kairi awake? He stepped inside and saw Kairi sleeping on the couch, T.V. still on. Nothing was playing, it was just static. He closed the door behind him and this woke Kairi up.

She sat up when she heard the door close and saw that Vanitas was standing in the doorway, soaking wet. Was it raining? She didn’t even realize it was supposed to rain today.

“Oh no, Vani…” She quickly got up so she could get him a towel, but felt dizzy and staggered.

Vanitas was quick to respond and caught her. She wasn’t doing too well. “Let’s get you into bed, Kai.”

He helped Kairi walk to her room, but she stopped suddenly.

“What’s wrong?” Vanitas asked.

“I’m sorry…”

Vanitas arched an eyebrow. “For what?”

Kairi shrugged. “I don’t know… I noticed that you’ve been keeping your distance from me and I feel like it’s because I did something wrong. I don’t know what… But I figured I apologize anyways.”

Vanitas looked down. She didn’t do anything wrong. Nothing was her fault, but he couldn’t find himself reassuring her. “I need you to tell me something. Who am I?”

Kairi looked up at Vanitas. “What?”

“Who am I? Am I Vanitas? Am I a weapon? A tool? Or just a replacement for Sora and Riku?”

Kairi’s eyes widened. “W-What? Replacement? Who-”

“Xehanort told me what happened to you after you lost them. How you want to get them back, how you created me to look like them to fill the void.”

“Xehanort? Vani that’s not-”

Vanitas slammed his fist against the wall. “Tell me the truth then! What am I to you?”

Kairi jumped slightly when Vanitas slammed his fist against the wall. What was he to her? Vanitas was Vanitas. He was her friend, not just a creation or a tool, he was more than that. Kairi started to doubt herself. She cared for Vanitas, very much so. But was it because of how he was now? Or was it because of the reason why she created him?

“Please… Answer me.” Vanitas pleaded, placing his hands on her shoulders.

“I… Xehanort is right… I originally created you to look like Sora and Riku… Because I couldn’t deal with the loss.”

Vanitas’ heart sank. So it was true… He was nothing to her. Just an image of her lost friends, a replacement.

“But you’re more than that! All this time we spent together has showed me that!”

Vanitas didn’t respond. He slowly looked up at Kairi. “I’m more than that, huh? It doesn’t feel that way to me…” Vanitas turned away. “How can I be more… When you created me to be a certain way?”  Vanitas then left the house.

“Vanitas, wait!” Kairi tried to stop him, but fell over. She was still very dizzy. “Please… Don’t leave me…” She clenched her fists. She doesn’t know what Xehanort has been telling him, but Vanitas was more than just a tool. He was more than just a replacement. He developed his own personality, his own free will and desires. Kairi wanted nothing more than for him to be safe, to be happy, to understand his emotions and become his own person, which he did. She valued him, appreciated everything he was and everything he wasn’t. He wasn’t Sora and Riku, which she hoped he would be like when she first created him, but she was glad he wasn’t. Vanitas was Vanitas and she-

Her face grew hot. She loved him. She truly did. Not because of what he was supposed to be but for who he was. He was blunt, stubborn, and he liked to tease her, but he was caring, understanding, and supportive. He was Vanitas, and she loved him.

Kairi gathered up all her strength and pushed herself onto her feet. She fought her dizziness and rushed outside. It was raining and Kairi instantly became soaked, but she needed to find Vanitas. She rushed down the street and into the city. Where could have he gone?

She then crashed into someone while running and fell backwards. She looked up and saw a man with long black and silver hair tied into a ponytail and next to him was another man with long blue hair.

“Oh! I’m sorry, I-”

“You look like you’re in quite the rush, little lady!” The man with black and silver hair said.

“Are you alright?” The man with blue hair asked.

Kairi got up to her feet and nodded. “Yes! I’m fine! Sorry for crashing into you.”

“Don’t worry about! But why so frantic?”

“I’m looking for… My boyfriend. We got into an argument and he rushed away. I want to find him and apologize so we can go back home. Have you seen him? He has black spikey hair, gold eyes?”

The two men looked at each other.

“I believe we saw him not too long ago.” The blue haired man said.

“Yeah, looked pretty ticked. He went that way.”

Kairi smiled. “Thank you so much!”

“Allow us to help you. It’s quite late anyways.” The blue haired man said.

“Yeah, don’t need a pretty little lady like you getting attacked!” The man with black and silver hair smiled.

“Thank you, I would appreciate it.” The three of them walked together. “What are your names?”

“The name’s Braig.” The man with silver and black hair said.

“My name is Isa.” The man with blue hair said.

-

Vanitas wasn’t too sure where he could go or what he should do. It was raining and he was already soaked to begin with. However, he was getting tired. Maybe he should just spend the night in the parking garage of the lab. He knew he couldn’t go back home, not after his outburst with Kairi.

He started to feel guilty about what he said to Kairi. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he just hurt her a lot. Not physically, but emotionally. He’s been making her sad when he shouldn’t have and now Kairi was suffering because of it. Maybe he should go home and apologize.

He started to make his way back home when he heard a loud crashing in the alley down the street. He went over and peeked around the corner and saw two men. One had blue hair while the other had black and silver hair. On the floor before them was Kairi, she had scratches on her body and one of her ankles was bloody and swollen.

“There now, no more running.” The man with silver and black hair said. “Can’t have you getting away now, Doctor Xehanort would have a cow!”

“Braig, stop talking.” The man with blue hair said. “Let’s just get the job done.” He pulled out a weird weapon and pointed it at Kairi.

Kairi was trapped. She was already weak to begin with and her ankle was hurt, she couldn’t walk. They worked for Xehanort, they were going to kill her. She didn’t know why, but with how things looked, she would never find out. She really wished she could have apologized to Vanitas…

Isa raised his weapon over his head, ready to swing, but he suddenly went flying forward.

Vanitas was there, leg extended and with the most murderous look on his face.

“Whoa! Hey now kid! We’re on your side!” Braig said.

Vanitas didn’t respond and grabbed Braig’s arm and twisted it behind his back before slamming him into a wall. Braig slid to the floor.

Isa was back on his feet and charged at Vanitas with his weapon. Vanitas deflected the attack and grabbed his weapon and yanked it out of his hands. He then punched him in the face, kneed him in the gut and kicked him into the wall.

Braig was back on his feet and aimed his gun at Vanitas and shot.

Kairi covered her ears and she quickly glanced to Vanitas who was still standing. He got shot in the shoulder, but it didn’t affect him. It wasn’t supposed to. He then turned and went to Braig.

Braig continued to shoot at him, but nothing was working. He finally ran out of bullets and was met by Vanitas who took his head and slammed it against the wall. He did this a few times until Braig’s head became bloodied.

Was he going to kill him? Kairi knew these two men tried to kill her just now, but she didn’t want Vanitas to be like them. She forced herself to her feet and rushed to Vanitas, wrapping her arms around him. “Vanitas, stop! Please…”

Vanitas snapped back into reality when he felt Kairi hug him. He saw the bloodied Braig in his hand and let him go. He fell to the floor with a thud and he saw the other man lying on the floor, unconscious. His focus returned to Kairi who was holding him and crying. She was hurt and wet. She needed to go back home.

Vanitas picked Kairi up and quickly went back home. He carefully carried her inside and set her down on the edge of her bed. “Wait here.” He got up and went to the restroom and grabbed the first aid kit and some towels before heading back to Kairi. He wrapped Kairi up in a towel so she could stay warm and dry herself off before crouching down in front of her.

He lightly grabbed her ankle and noticed Kairi wince. “Sorry, just bear with me for a while.”

Kairi nodded and took a deep shaky breath. She was still crying and she was shivering because she was wet.

Vanitas gently cleaned Kairi’s wound and wrapped it with medicated gauze before wrapping bandages around it. He also took the time to clean up the small scratches on Kairi’s body as well. “There… How you doing?”

Kairi nodded, still shaking and sniffling.

Vanitas looked down. “I’m sorry… This is all my fault.”

Kairi shook her head quickly. “No, this is my fault! I should have been more forward with you! I should have told you about my reasons for creating you sooner… I was just afraid you would have hated me.”

“To be honest, I kinda did. I just… Don’t like the idea of being nothing and no one…”

Kairi took Vanitas’ hand. “But you aren’t no one… You’re Vanitas. You’re not anyone else. I may have tried to create you to be like Sora and Riku, but you’re nothing like them. Not in the slightest! You’re your own person, you’re Vanitas.”

Vanitas’ heart nearly pounded out of his chest when Kairi said this. She did see him as a person. Not as a tool, or a replacement, but as Vanitas. He let Xehanort get to him, he pushed Kairi away, made her sad, and he almost had her killed. Vanitas pulled Kairi into a hug. “I’m sorry… I should have listened to you and ignore Xehanort’s words… I tried to push you away… I thought by doing that I would keep you safe, but I put you more at risk that way. I won’t ever do it again. I’ll be by your side, no matter what.”

Kairi nodded and wrapped her arms around Vanitas, stuffing her face into the crook of his neck, crying softly.

Vanitas soothed her by rubbing her back.

After a short while, Kairi pulled away.

“You should get some rest, change into dry clothes.” Vanitas stood up and was about to walk to his room, when Kairi gripped the back of his shirt.

“Can you stay? Please?” Kairi asked softly, her cheeks a slight red color.

Vanitas smiled gently and nodded. He sat next to Kairi, but Kairi suddenly pulled him down and pulled the covers up.

They were lying next to one another, a bit too close, but Kairi was still shivering and still wet, so Vanitas scooted closer to her so she would get warm.

“Vani…”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want you fighting the darkness.”

Vanitas tilted his head. “Where did this come from?”

“I just- Sora and Riku were very strong… You’re strong too, but I worry that it may not be enough, and that I’ll lose you too. I don’t want to lose you, I want you here with me forever.”

“Forever?”

Kairi nodded and looked up at Vanitas and smiled. “That’s how long I’ll love you for.”

Vanitas felt his face grow hot and his heart race. Love. The word he struggled to find out the meaning for. The word he struggled to find out what it felt like. It was only recently did he understand it now. Understand what it felt like. He loved Kairi. He wanted her by his side.

He gently caressed the side of Kairi’s face, pushing some of her wet hair behind her ear. He then slowly moved into closer to her, leaning his face closer to hers and lightly planting a kiss on her lips. He could feel himself melt at how warm and soft she was. He instantly became addicted to the feeling.

Kairi pretty much felt the same way Vanitas did. She didn’t think she would crave more of Vanitas’ kisses until she had one. Her heart fluttered with excitement. She didn’t realize that this whole time, Vanitas was all she needed. She loved Vanitas. When Vanitas parted from the kiss, she smiled before moving back in for another kiss.

This kiss was slightly more rough, more passionate. It was warm and seductive. Vanitas could feel himself grow excited from it. Kairi wrapped her arms around Vanitas’ neck, keeping her body close and pressed against his. Vanitas kept Kairi pressed up against him, he enjoyed her warmth, her softness, he just wanted to feel her pressed up against him.

He grabbed the hems of Kairi’s shirt and lifted it up slightly before gently caressing her sides. If he’s learned anything from the movies, is that he needed to find the most sensitive parts of the body to get her going.

Kairi gasped slightly as she felt Vanitas’ hands caress her sides. His hands were soft and warm and it sent chills up her spine, she craved the touch. 

Vanitas took this a good sign. He found one of Kairi’s sensitive areas. He carefully lifted Kairi’s shirt over her head and tossed it to the side. He couldn’t help but admire Kairi’s body. It was so slender and smooth. Light freckles littered her shoulders and chest. He glanced up at her face and saw she was slightly blushing.

Vanitas smiled gently before leaning into Kairi’s neck and littering it with kisses before sucking on the surface of the skin.

This elicited a soft moan from Kairi as she pressed herself against Vanitas, but she winced slightly when she moved her ankle. It still hurt.

Vanitas noticed her wince and parted from her neck and looked her in the eyes. “Does it hurt?”

Kairi nodded. “My ankle…”

Vanitas nodded. “Okay, let me take care of everything.”

“What?” Before Kairi had any time to react, Vanitas sat Kairi up and propped him onto his lap. He did it very quickly and very carefully that Kairi felt no pain in her ankle.

Vanitas then reached behind Kairi’s back and unhooked her bra, sliding it off her shoulders and tossing it to the side. Vanitas always wondered what it would be like to do this kind of thing with someone, especially with someone you loved. He was glad it was with Kairi though. He’s always found Kairi very pretty but to see her like this was very overwhelming for him. He leaned Kairi back against her pillows and started to lightly kiss Kairi’s breast before sucking on one. He lathered his tongue around her nipple, slightly pulling and chewing on it. He did it soft enough to pleasure her and not hurt her.

Kairi squirmed as Vanitas started to suck on her breast. This was her first time doing anything like this was she was surprised at how good it felt. She didn’t feel nervous or afraid, she felt excited, she wanted more. She tangled her fingers in Vanitas’ hair, moaning ever so slightly and moving her hips slightly. She could feel Vanitas pressed against her and feeling his stiffness made her very curious.

Vanitas was beginning to grow very hot when Kairi started to rub up against his length. He could feel himself twitch and hardened. His shirt was beginning to annoy him because it stuck to his skin and made him feel hotter. He parted from Kairi’s breast and quickly pulled off his shirt.

Kairi has seen Vanitas shirtless several times. Sometimes he would come out of the shower with just his pants or shorts on, but this time was different. She felt more excited seeing Vanitas like this. His body was toned and Kairi lightly traced the lines in his body.

Vanitas then pressed his lips against Kairi’s, passionately kissing her. He pressed himself closely against her, so he could feel her breasts pressed against his bare chest. He was also doing everything he could to not hurt Kairi and her ankle. He wanted her to enjoy herself, so he would do everything to ensure that.

He parted from Kairi and grabbed her shorts and underwear and carefully slid them off her body. He worked them around her bad ankle and it didn’t look like it caused Kairi pain. It did however make Kairi incredibly flustered because here she was, completely naked before him. She tried to look away and cover her face out of embarrassment.

“Are you trying to hide from me, Kai?

Kairi shook her head quickly. “N-No! I just… I look weird.”

Vanitas smiled gently. “I don’t think you look weird. I think you look absolutely beautiful.”

Kairi’s heart pounded in her chest and her face grew incredibly hot. This was the first time anyone has see her like this and this was the first time she’s heard anyone call her beautiful, she wasn’t too sure how to react.

Vanitas chuckled slightly. “You’re too cute, you know? I really want to see more of your cute expressions now.” Vanitas lowered himself and left a trail of kisses down Kairi’s torso until he got between her legs. He kissed around the area and kissed the inside of her thighs. He could hear Kairi’s breath quicken and more gentle moans escaping her lips. He wanted to hear more of it. So he started lightly kissing Kairi’s bloom between her legs. He could feel Kairi shudder and twitch. He knew that this was the most sensitive area on her body and he wanted to see what kind of reactions he could get from her. He licked the surface of her skin, getting the area nice and moist before sliding his tongue inside her.

Kairi threw her head back and moaned as she felt Vanitas’ tongue slide into her. She could feel how warm and slick it was and it made her squirm. She could feel it press against her walls and slide in and out. She tied her hands in Vanitas’s hair, gasping and moaning as Vanitas thrusted his tongue in and out of her.

Vanitas was enjoying this more than he thought he would. Not because he was incredibly turned on right now, but because he was enjoying Kairi’s reactions. He could hear her moans, feel her hands run through his hair, feel her bloom tighten around his tongue, feel her grow wetter from both him and herself. What he saw on T.V. was clearly and understatement of how it actually felt. He adjusted himself to make room for his hand and sucking on her skin, he lightly flicked her clit.

This caused Kairi to shake and shudder. She felt a shock wave of pleasure course through her body. She could feel herself grown numb to everything but the pleasure she was feeling from Vanitas.

Vanitas continued to massage Kairi’s clit, to suck and lick her bloom. He could feel her tremble, hear her moans, and he could feel his pants grow tight. He moved away from Kairi’s bloom and quickly slid out of his pants.

Kairi created Vanitas and knew his body very well, has seen him naked too, but this was different. In this situation, seeing Vanitas like this aroused her. She felt like she a more intimate and stronger connection with Vanitas. Vanitas was hers and no one else’s and only she will have the pleasure of seeing him like this.

Vanitas leaned down into Kairi’s neck again and started to suck and kiss the skin while reaching a hand down and massaging Kairi’s clit again. As much as he wanted to take her right here and now, he needed to make sure she was ready. After massaging her clit some more, he used two fingers to massage Kairi’s bloom.

She was moaning and gasping, her arms were wrapped around Vanitas, her nails digging slightly into his skin. 

He slowly pushed two of his fingers inside of Kairi and this caused her to arch up and moan. He was doing everything right, that’s good. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he wanted to make her feel as good as possible. He thrusted his fingers in and out her, going slowly at first, but then quickening the pace, causing Kairi to bounce.

“V-Vani…” Kairi gasped. “More…”

Vanitas just lost himself then and there. Kairi gasping out his name and asking for more sent him over the edge. He grabbed Kairi’s leg with the bad ankle and carefully lifted it up. It didn’t seem to cause her pain. He then positioned himself at Kairi’s entrance. He carefully and slowly slid his length inside her, resting her bad leg over his shoulder, holding it.

Kairi felt a slight burning pain when Vanitas went inside her, but it went away very quickly. Curious to see how it felt, Kairi moved her hips lightly and a loud moan escaped past her lips. She became very embarrassed and covered her face.

Vanitas laughed. “Feels that good, huh?”

“Don’t make fun of me…”

“Who says I’m making fun of you? No, I want to hear more.” Vanitas pulled himself out slightly before thrusting in again.

This caused Kairi to gasp.

Vanitas did this several times, not too hard, just to get Kairi used to the feeling. When he felt her loosen and adjust around him, he began to thrust faster. He tooks Kairi’s hands and pinned them over her head with one hand. He was using the other hand to keep Kairi’s bad leg over his shoulder. He didn’t want Kairi covering her face, he wanted to see her. He could feel a pressure build up inside him as he continued to thrust, and Kairi’s moans were just making that pressure stronger.

Kairi could feel herself draw closer and closer to her climax. It was almost overwhelming. She just wanted to explode all over the place and every time she thought she was close, it would just keep piling and building up. She could feel herself overflowing with pleasure, she just wanted it to tip.

“I’m so close… Vani…”

Vanitas decided to go faster, slamming himself against Kairi. He could feel her tighten around him as he thrusted. It just felt too good, he didn’t want to to stop, but he had to consider Kairi. She wasn’t like him, he may have the stamina for this, but she didn’t, and she was hurt, so he had to make this count. He kept going until he felt Kairi grow tighter than before.

“Ah, I-” Kairi mustered out before shuddering and moaning very loudly. Her back arched and her body trembled as she climaxed.

This did it for Vanitas, he wasn’t too sure about his reproductive possibilities, so he pulled out as he came, spraying on Kairi’s stomach.

The two of them were gasping lightly and Vanitas leaned down and pressed gentle kisses to Kairi’s lips before setting her leg down and lying down next to her. He pulled the covers over them again and pulled Kairi close to him as he continued to kiss her gently and softly.

“I love you, Vanitas.” Kairi smiled.

Vanitas smiled back and pushed some hair behind Kairi’s ear. “I love you too.” Vanitas finally understood what love was, and how it felt. He loved Kairi, and nothing could change that.


End file.
